Mother's Day

This Mother's day I was able to reflect on so much. The journey that brought me here, the title of Mother and the amazing woman that do and should bear this title.

 All I ever wanted to be was a mother. To me it meant caring and raising tiny little copies of myself and my husband. I knew that being a mother would not be easy, as many would tell me. But I fully expected my journey to not be hard as well. 

When I met Mike and married him, I knew I was marrying the man of my dreams, and I knew that our children would be just as amazing. 

In the beginning took every precaution to prevent children until we were ready. Six months later we knew we were ready. We figured it would take a couple months, maybe even a year. 

As time slipped by and failed tests and months came, we tried everything. Knowing that we were promised children. Little did we know when they say, "Everything in the Lord's time," they mean it.

Every Mother's day that passed was a painful reminder of what we didn't have and what we wanted so badly. Many times we would skip church, avoid family and just spend time with each other. Mike would hold me as I cried and would tell me just hang on. It wasn't until I heard a talk from Sherry Dew that I started to find peace with my role and life. 

 "Of all the words they could have chosen to define her role and her essence, both God the Father and Adam called Eve “the mother of all living”—and they did so before she ever bore a child. Motherhood is more than bearing children...It is the essence of who we are as women." Sheri Dew

I won't say that I still didn't have difficult days, and that I didn't feel a sting on Mother's day. What I did feel was that I should except the hard days, embrace them, and know that at that moment my Heavenly Father loved me and did know me, and really did have a plan for me.

Fast forward several years, and one amazing woman later. I get to experience what I wanted so long ago. I get to bear the title of "Mama". As Phineas grows I think of all the amazing women in his life who may not all bear this title, but will all touch his life and have a hand in shaping the man he will grow to become. Not all of them have borne or will bear children. But just as Sherry Dew has said Motherhood "It is the essence of who we are as women. “I want my son to know that he was born through love, received and raised through it. 

I am so grateful to my Father in Heaven. For helping through my heartache and showing me that he had a much more beautiful plan. And this Mother's day. I get to share this precious boy and title of Mother with his amazing birth mother. Together we are motherhood.